The Custom That Kept Us Together

The brass bell hung in the courtyard of the Rathore haveli in Jodhpur, weathered by a hundred monsoons and polished by a thousand hands. Every morning at precisely six AM, someone in the family had to ring it seven times. Not six, not eight. Seven. Once for each generation that had lived in this house since 1847, when Thakur Amar Singh Rathore had built it with sandstone brought from the Thar Desert and dreams carried from battlefields.

The custom seemed simple enough: ring the bell, gather whoever was home for morning chai, share one story from your life, and listen to one story from someone else’s. But that simplicity held remarkable power, creating family traditions bonding that had kept the Rathores connected through partition, independence, economic changes, and the relentless pull of modernity that scattered families across continents.

Vikram Rathore stood in his Mumbai apartment at five-thirty on a Tuesday morning, calculating time zones. His daughter Aanya was in London, seven hours behind. His son Kabir was in Bangalore, ahead by half an hour. His younger brother Arjun still lived in the haveli with their mother. And Vikram was here, in a high-rise where neighbors didn’t know each other’s names, about to ring a digital bell on a video call because the family traditions bonding required it, even across four thousand kilometers.

His phone screen filled with faces as the call connected. Aanya, bleary-eyed in her student accommodation. Kabir, already dressed for work. Arjun in the actual courtyard with their mother, Rajkumari, who at seventy-eight still insisted on ringing the physical bell herself when she was home.

“Ready?” Arjun asked, holding his phone so they could all see the brass bell.

They counted together, a chorus across time zones: “Ek, do, teen, char, paanch, che, saat.” Seven rings, the sound carrying through the phone speakers, bridging distance with ritual.

“Who shares first today?” Rajkumari asked, settling into her chair with her chai. Even on a phone screen, she radiated the authority that had held this family together through decades of change.

“I will,” Vikram said, though he’d been dreading this moment. He’d lost a major client yesterday, a failure that felt like confirmation that at fifty-two, he was becoming obsolete in an industry that worshipped youth. But the custom required truth, not performance. Share one story from your life. The good, the bad, the real.

“I failed yesterday,” he began, and told them about the lost client, the younger competitor who’d undercut his bid, the fear that his business was declining and he didn’t know how to stop it. The words came harder than he’d expected, admitting vulnerability to his children, his brother, his mother.

When he finished, there was silence on the call. Then Aanya spoke.

“Thank you for telling us, Papa. I know that was hard.” She paused. “My story is related, actually. I failed my statistics module. Have to retake it. I’ve been too embarrassed to tell you because you’re all so successful, and I’m the one who can’t even pass basic math.”

“I got rejected from the startup accelerator program I applied to,” Kabir added quietly. “The one I told you was a sure thing? They said my idea wasn’t innovative enough. I’ve been pretending everything’s fine for two weeks.”

Arjun laughed, though it sounded strained. “Well, since we’re sharing failures, I’ll add mine. The heritage hotel conversion I’ve been planning for the haveli? The investors pulled out. Said Jodhpur is oversaturated with heritage properties. So I’m back to square one, living in a building that costs a fortune to maintain with no clear plan to make it sustainable.”

Rajkumari set down her chai cup with deliberate care. “Your grandfather,” she said, “Thakur Vijay Singh, he failed at everything he tried for ten years. Businesses that collapsed, investments that disappeared, schemes that never materialized. This was the 1960s, after independence, when the privy purses were abolished and we went from royalty to ordinary citizens overnight. He was trained to rule a small kingdom, not run a business in democratic India.”

She paused, making sure she had everyone’s attention. “He rang this bell every morning for those ten years, gathering whoever was home, sharing his failures. Do you know what he told me once? He said the bell wasn’t about success. It was about showing up. About letting family see you as you actually are, not as you pretend to be. That’s what creates family traditions bonding that last. Not perfection, but presence. Not achievement, but authenticity.”

The story settled over the call like a blessing. Vikram felt something in his chest loosen slightly. His failure wasn’t the end of his story; it was just today’s chapter. Tomorrow he’d ring the bell again, share another piece of his life, listen to theirs.

“Same time tomorrow?” Arjun asked, and everyone agreed before disconnecting.

The custom had started in 1847, but it had evolved with each generation. Originally, it had been for whoever lived in the haveli, a way to maintain connection in a joint family where twenty people might live under one roof. As family members scattered for education and opportunities, they’d adapted. Letters read aloud during the bell ringing. Phone calls when technology allowed. Now, video calls that brought the courtyard to London and Mumbai and Bangalore simultaneously.

Vikram’s grandfather had been the one to codify the rules that made family traditions bonding non-negotiable. You could miss the bell ringing for emergencies, illness, travel. But you had to ring it within twenty-four hours, even if alone, even if just leaving a voice message for the family. You had to share something real from your life, not polished updates or filtered highlights. And you had to listen to someone else’s story with full attention, no multitasking, no judgment.

These rules had been tested over the years. When Vikram’s father had died suddenly thirty years ago, the family had gathered in the courtyard, rung the bell through their tears, and shared memories of him instead of their daily stories. When Vikram’s marriage had fallen apart fifteen years ago, the bell ringing had been where he’d admitted it was ending, where his family had held space for his grief without trying to fix it.

When Aanya had come out as bisexual two years ago, terrified of her family’s reaction, she’d told them during the bell ringing. Rajkumari had been quiet for a long moment, then shared a story about her own aunt who’d never married, who’d lived with her “companion” in the haveli until they both died, who’d been quietly accepted by the family in ways that weren’t spoken about but were understood. “We see you,” Rajkumari had told Aanya. “We love you. Nothing changes that.”

The family traditions bonding created by the bell ringing weren’t always comfortable. Sometimes the stories shared were challenging, confronting, demanded that family members stretch beyond their comfort zones. But the commitment to showing up daily, to maintaining connection even when it was hard, created intimacy that survived distance and disagreement.

Three months after the morning of shared failures, Vikram was back in Jodhpur for Diwali. The haveli was full for the first time in years: all his siblings with their families, cousins who’d flown in from Delhi and Jaipur, even Aanya home from London. The courtyard was decorated with diyas and rangoli, the smell of Rajasthani food drifting from the kitchen where three generations were cooking together.

The brass bell rang at six AM, and this time dozens of people gathered. The younger generation, teenagers and children, watched with mixed interest and boredom as the ritual unfolded. Vikram saw his nephew, sixteen-year-old Yuvraj, scrolling on his phone during the stories, clearly considering this whole custom outdated and irrelevant.

After the formal bell ringing ended, Vikram pulled Yuvraj aside.

“Not interested in the family tradition?” he asked without judgment.

Yuvraj shrugged, defensive. “It’s just old-fashioned, you know? Standing around listening to stories when we could just text each other updates. I love everyone, but do we really need this whole ritual?”

“Let me tell you what the bell ringing actually is,” Vikram said. “It’s not about the ritual. It’s insurance against becoming strangers.”

Yuvraj looked skeptical but was listening.

“Your generation is more connected than any in history,” Vikram continued. “You can video call anyone, anywhere, anytime. But you know what? Most people don’t. They drift. They mean to stay in touch and somehow years pass and they barely know their siblings, their cousins. They know what everyone posts on social media but not what anyone actually feels.”

He gestured to the courtyard where family members were still chatting over chai. “This custom, these family traditions bonding we maintain, they’re not about being old-fashioned. They’re about making connection non-optional. About building relationships strong enough that when you fail, when you’re scared, when life gets hard, you have people who actually know you well enough to help.”

“But we’re all so different now,” Yuvraj protested. “I have nothing in common with half these people. We live in different cities, different countries, different worlds.”

“Exactly. That’s precisely why you need this.” Vikram pulled out his phone, showed Yuvraj the family chat where daily bell ringing stories were posted for those who couldn’t attend live. “Three months ago, I shared that I’d lost a major client. I was embarrassed, felt like a failure. But because we have this custom of truth-telling, your uncle Arjun knew enough about my actual situation to introduce me to a contact who became my biggest client this year. That doesn’t happen with surface-level family updates.”

He scrolled further back. “Six months ago, your cousin Meera shared during bell ringing that she was struggling with depression. Because she told us, because we were already in the habit of checking in daily, we could support her getting help. She’s doing much better now, but if we’d only connected at weddings and festivals, we might not have known until it was much worse.”

Yuvraj was quiet, processing. “So it’s not really about the bell?”

“The bell is just the tool. The family traditions bonding it creates, that’s what matters. It’s a commitment that we’ll show up for each other, actually show up, not just in crisis but daily. That we’ll let each other see our real lives, not curated versions. That we’ll listen to stories that might be boring or uncomfortable because relationships require that kind of attention.”

The next morning, Yuvraj was the one who rang the bell. He shared a story about struggling with career pressure, feeling like he was supposed to become an engineer because that’s what everyone expected, but actually wanting to study design. The vulnerability in his voice was palpable.

His father, Arjun, responded with his own story about wanting to be a musician in his youth, giving it up for family expectations, and how he’d eventually found his way back to what mattered through the heritage hotel project. “Don’t wait as long as I did,” he told his son.

That conversation, witnessed by the whole family during the bell ringing, became the foundation for Yuvraj eventually choosing design school. But it wouldn’t have happened in a private conversation. Something about the ritual of the bell ringing, the public vulnerability it required, the tradition of truth-telling it maintained, created space for honesty that might not have emerged otherwise.

Over the years, the family traditions bonding evolved with technology and circumstances. When the pandemic hit, the video call bell ringings became daily lifelines, connecting family members isolated in different cities and countries. When Kabir’s startup finally succeeded two years after the accelerator rejection, the family celebrated during the bell ringing, his success belonging to everyone because they’d witnessed his struggle.

When Rajkumari’s health declined and she could no longer make it to the courtyard, the bell was brought to her room. She continued participating from her bed, sharing stories that became increasingly focused on memories, on lessons she wanted to pass down, on the history that gave context to the custom they were maintaining.

“This bell,” she said one morning six months before she died, “it’s rung for seven generations. That’s one hundred and seventy-six years of Rathores showing up for each other. Wars, famines, partition, independence, modernization, all of it witnessed and shared in this courtyard. The family traditions bonding we’ve built aren’t about the past. They’re about creating a foundation strong enough for whatever future comes.”

She looked directly at the camera, addressing the grandchildren and great-grandchildren scattered across the globe. “You’ll be tempted to let this go. It will seem inconvenient, old-fashioned, unnecessary. You’ll have apps and social media and a thousand ways to feel connected without actually connecting. Don’t fall for it. This custom, this daily choice to show up and be seen and listen to others, this is what will keep you from becoming strangers to each other.”

When Rajkumari died, the family gathered for her funeral, and the bell ringing that morning was quiet and grief-filled. But they rang it. They shared stories about her, memories and lessons and the ways she’d shaped them. And in their shared grief, in the familiar ritual of the bell cutting through their pain, they found comfort.

Ten years after that morning when Vikram had shared his business failure on a video call, the Rathore family had expanded further. Marriages, children, career moves that took family members to Singapore, Dubai, San Francisco. But every morning at six AM Jodhpur time, someone rang the bell. In person when possible, virtually when necessary, occasionally through voice messages when time zones made synchronous connection impossible.

The family traditions bonding created by this simple custom had prevented them from drifting into the polite distance that characterized so many modern families. The Rathores knew each other, actually knew each other, in ways that went beyond holiday gatherings and filtered social media updates.

When Aanya struggled with her PhD research, she told the family during bell ringing and her cousin in Singapore, working in her research field, could offer specific advice. When Kabir’s startup faced acquisition offers, he processed the decision through multiple morning bell ringings, getting perspectives from family members with different expertise and values. When Yuvraj’s design firm won its first major client, the celebration during bell ringing was genuine because everyone had followed his journey.

The younger generation, children born into the custom, accepted it as normal. They grew up seeing adults model vulnerability and attention, learning that family meant showing up consistently, not just for celebrations but for ordinary days and difficult ones. They absorbed lessons about authenticity and connection that would shape their own relationships.

Arjun, now managing the haveli which had successfully converted to a heritage hotel, made the bell ringing part of the guest experience. Every morning, guests could observe the family tradition, could witness how family traditions bonding looked in practice. Many were moved by it, some adopting modified versions for their own families.

“What’s the secret?” a guest asked once, watching the family gather for the bell ringing. “How do you get everyone to actually participate, especially across generations and time zones?”

Arjun considered the question. “There’s no secret. It’s just commitment. We decided, as a family, that staying connected mattered more than convenience. That knowing each other’s real lives was worth the daily effort. The family traditions bonding we’ve built came from showing up even when it was hard, especially when it was hard.”

He gestured to the brass bell, worn smooth by countless hands. “This bell doesn’t have magical powers. It’s just a tool for creating accountability. Because we’ve committed to ringing it and gathering, we can’t ghost each other. We can’t drift into comfortable distance. We have to show up, have to share, have to listen. And over time, that daily practice of showing up builds relationships strong enough to survive anything.”

Vikram, visiting from Mumbai for the weekend, added his perspective. “I’ve watched my children grow up knowing they have this family behind them, not theoretically but practically. They know that every single day, there are people who will listen to their stories, people who are tracking their lives with genuine interest. That security, that knowledge of being seen and valued, it changes how you move through the world.”

The tradition had its challenges. Time zones remained annoying. Personality conflicts didn’t disappear just because people rang a bell together. Some family members found the daily commitment burdensome at times. But the family traditions bonding it created were undeniable.

When Vikram’s second marriage struggled, he shared it during bell ringing before it became crisis. The family rallied, not with judgment but with support, with offers of counseling contacts and space to process. The marriage survived, strengthened partly by the practice of vulnerability Vikram had learned through years of bell ringings.

When global events created political tensions, when family members held different views on contentious issues, the bell ringing remained a space where they could disagree while staying connected. The daily practice of listening to each other’s stories, of seeing each other’s full humanity, made it harder to reduce anyone to their political positions.

Twenty years after that first video call bell ringing, Vikram stood in the courtyard of the haveli at seventy-two, his grandchildren running around the space where seven generations had gathered. The brass bell hung where it always had, a constant through all the changes.

His daughter Aanya, now a professor in London, was there with her partner. Kabir, his startup successfully sold, was considering what to do next. Arjun’s children were grown, some working in the heritage hotel, some pursuing their own paths. And the bell still rang every morning at six AM.

“Do you ever regret it?” a young cousin asked Vikram. “The daily commitment, the obligation to show up even when you didn’t want to?”

Vikram thought about all the mornings he’d woken early to join the bell ringing. The times it had been inconvenient, the days he’d had nothing interesting to share, the stories he’d had to listen to that didn’t particularly engage him. He thought about the alternative: a family that loved each other in theory but drifted into comfortable distance, relationships maintained through occasional visits and polite small talk.

“Never,” he said truthfully. “The family traditions bonding we’ve built through this custom, it’s the foundation of everything good in my life. When I failed, when I struggled, when I needed support or advice or just someone to witness my life, this family was there. Not because we happened to be related, but because we’d built relationships strong enough to hold weight.”

He rang the bell, seven clear notes cutting through the morning air. The family gathered, spanning four generations, some in person and some on phone screens, but all present, all showing up.

“Who shares first today?” he asked, and someone always did.

That was the real power of the custom, Vikram thought as he listened to his great-niece share a story about starting college. Not that it was magical or special, but that it was consistent. That for one hundred and ninety-six years, someone in this family had rung this bell and gathered whoever could come. That seven generations had chosen connection over convenience, intimacy over independence, showing up over drifting apart.

The family traditions bonding they’d maintained weren’t about preserving the past. They were about building foundations for the future, creating relationships that could survive distance and difference and all the forces that pulled modern families apart.

As the bell ringing ended and family members dispersed to their days, some staying in the haveli and some returning to their separate lives across the world, Vikram felt grateful. Grateful for ancestors who’d had the wisdom to start this custom, grateful for family members who’d chosen to maintain it through challenges, grateful for the bonds it had built that made this collection of individuals into something bigger, stronger, more enduring.

The brass bell would ring tomorrow morning at six AM. And the morning after that. And for as many mornings as the Rathores chose to keep showing up, keep sharing, keep listening, keep building family traditions bonding that transformed obligation into intimacy and ritual into relationship.

That was the real custom: not the bell itself, but the daily choice it represented. The choice to let your family see you, to see them in return, to build connections strong enough that distance couldn’t break them and time couldn’t erode them. Seven rings, seven generations, one unbreakable commitment to never becoming strangers to each other.

And in a world that made drifting apart easier than ever, that choice, renewed daily with each bell ringing, was perhaps the most radical and revolutionary act a family could perform.

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